I’m sorry for the slow progress on this blog, but it’s actually a good thing: I’m feeling less and less of a need to explain myself, which, for me (social anxiety disorder and all) is a marvelous thing. That, and I want to be careful to not go into a negative mood on here, or be antagonistic towards Mormonism, because I feel neither negative nor antagonistic- as a matter of fact, if it doesn’t sound too lame, I feel quite zen with the world.
I am still feeling less and less Mormon. But I have sorted out quite a bit about what I DO feel these days:
- I believe in family. Specifically, my family. I have the most amazing family, and so perfect for me. I spent a week this summer at a family reunion with my parents, 4 siblings, 13 nieces and nephews, and my own husband and 2 kids. Not only was it a blast, but it was completely free of the religious awkwardness I had been dreading- we were too busy having fun and bonding for it to come up. My family does know things have changed with me, but in the end I’ve concluded religious belief is a subject that’s best to avoid, since hurt feelings inevitably occur.
- I believe in God. Or a god. Or something bigger than me, bigger than any of us. I won’t pretend I know anything about him/her/it. For all I know it’s some power within us that we have no explanation for.
- I believe in consequences: both good and bad. All of our actions have consequences, and we should base our daily activities on our long-term goals. Good begets good, bad begets bad. Call it karma.
- I believe in personal revelation. Let me stress that: PERSONAL revelation. As in, we each have spiritual experiences suited to us and our path. For instance, quite a few people close to me have had powerful spiritual experiences setting them on the path of Mormonism. People I trust and respect. Experiences that are crystal clear in their confirmation of the truth of Mormonism (or any other religion)- FOR THAT PERSON. We are drawn to the religion that complements us best- we project onto a religion what we NEED it to be. Mormonism was exactly what I needed it to be, until recently. And none of my experiences were invalid or imagined, but what I needed at the time. Just like anyone in Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity or even Atheism might have valid personal experiences that shows them the path for them.
- I do believe truth is relative. A resurrected Christ may appear to one person and the Virgin of Guadalupe might appear to another- I don’t know the source of such experiences, but I think they all can be valid inasmuch as they apply to those who accept them.
- Those who are open minded, seeking answers (or needing answers), or exposed to certain religious frameworks are more likely to have experiences pointing them in their direction. Add to that the fact our brain is wired to interpret data in a way that supports our established beliefs, and those who are looking for spiritual confirmations will find them.
- I believe in myself, and in everyone else. People are inherently good. We need to seek the good in others, and ourselves, and be quick to forgive faults.